My Heart

It could have been yours, but you refused it

It could have been love, but you used it

Instead of taking it for what it really was

You chose to break it just because

Now I’m hurting and I can’t take it

I don’t care, I’m not gonna fake it

I’ll wear my broken heart on my sleeve

Just for you and the whole world to see

You took my heart and abused it

Cluttered my mind and confused it

You always said I had a pretty face

Now I’m nothing but a fucking basket case

I hope you’re happy now with her

I’ll take my broken heart back if you prefer

It’s no use to you now that it is dead

If it’s okay with you, I’ll die now instead

I’d rather lay dead than without my heart

I can’t stand the feeling of being apart

So be kind and please return it

Take my picture, rip and burn it

My memory will now fade away

And I have confidence that maybe one day

You will realize the most important part

That you, in fact, were my heart

La La La La

Ok, so I think I may be going crazy, but wait, haven't I been there all along? Have I merely adjusted to the spectrum of weird events around me and accepted them for my reality? I'm walking on air but still I am sinking in quick sand. I want to sing you my theme song, but you don't have ears. Dance with me on the beach in the dead of winter, snow falling all around us. Show me your inner light with a devilish smile tucked deep inside. Let's hold hands and skip through Central Park, running into strangers and never looking back. Prick my finger and watch my blood drip down. Joust my heart and pull it out. Take me to bed but love me none. Undress me with your eyes but leave my panties on for a kinky surprise. I'll call you on the telephone just to let you know that I don't care about the sun, only the rain. Stomp in puddles with me, tracking our mud all over my white carpet. Share all my dirty moves with all your friends but keep me to yourself. Idolize me on the highest pedestal just to knock me down one night in a drunken rage. I'll whisper sweet nothings into the air, making sure you'll never hear them. And when we gaze into each other's eyes, we will only see despise and hate because we are jealous that we aren't each other. You me and I you. Kill me softly and throw daisies in my coffin, showering me with yellow. Wake me up in the middle of the night and tell me you are leaving. Leave forever but never go anywhere. I'll love you just the same. I'll write your name in the bathroom stall with "Call for a good time." You'll be my biggest accomplishment and also, my biggest mistake. Come, stay with me in this fucked up world forever. Never leave and slip into insanity with me. Find me repulsive but something you can't deny. Love me....

A Mourning Child

Deep inside I felt that I had a reason to be me
I felt that I could make a change for the world to see
Now I know that will never be

I live a different life than everyone here
I hide away inside my adolescent fear
At night, I cry the same lonesome tear

It seems that no one will ever understand
Nor will anyone hold out their helping hand
What is the world coming to today
When no one has a kind word to say

I want someone to hold my heart
When I am crying, falling apart
I am only a child that mourns and weeps
Only a child that never sleeps

Think twice before you push another child away
Because there might always come a day
That you destroy another adolescent in a secret way

My heart has grown cold
My feelings have been sold
This sad, lonesome story never goes untold

Copyright © 2000

HIM

He knows my standard
But thinks he's below it
He's truly brilliant
But doesn't even know it
He thinks I'm perfect
But He won't admit it
He refuses to love me
Because he's "committed"
And I wonder what it'd take to make him see
All the beautiful things he could have with me
It's like wanting to hold something
You could never touch
He knows we're forbidden
But I want him so much
I write him letters
But I never send them
Guess he'll never know
How much I need him
And I wonder what it'd take to make him see
All the beautiful things he could have with me

Copyright © 2009

Heaven's Most Beautiful Angel

Heaven got its most beautiful angel
The night that she let go
God took the most precious gift
Even though I loved her so
Heaven got its most beautiful angel
The night that I lost my mother
She had all of my endearing affection
And couldn't be replaced by another
Heaven got its most beautiful angel
The day she gave into her fears
I begged and pleaded to save her
I shouted through my tears
Heaven got its most beautiful angel
The day she was proud to fly
I knew that it was her time
So I just kissed my mother good bye

Copyright © 2009